March 8th

Tue, Mar 8, 2011


Nothing in particular on my mind except how I need to put everything together so its coherent.

I noticed a couple posts ago about feeling as though I’m in a rut. Well, I don’t  feel the same way I did. Although I maintain that I’m the product of a tradition of wealth-hating and that I’m not happy about it, I finally have a sense of taking action toward a satisfying life, renumerary benefits notwithstanding.

So far I have some cool temp/ substitute jobs and several versions of a resume. Should I worry that I have different versions and that I doctor them up to fit each situation? Not as long as I’m not lying. But nobody wants to see 25 years of horsemanship on a resume for substitute custodian in the Hancock County School System.

Makes me wonder just exactly what  “familiarity with” means. While one person can be very familiar with something and otherwise be a slug at work, another (I’m unabashedly referring to myself here) might be unfamiliar, yet nonetheless a problem-solving dynamo whom nothing can stop from getting the job done. I hate to be seen making excuses on the job, so I try (sometimes too hard) to always do a bit more than what’s expected. Everyone in our family has a good work ethic and the best part is it’s not about the money; it’s about the contribution. If everyone were like us it wouldn’t matter what system the nation favored, it would work (because we do)!

When I look at my resume then, in its various forms, emphasizing various qualities, I think to myself; “it’s a shot in the dark” if I get noticed. I mean, a real accident. But the value isn’t the part that’s on the paper.

On the other hand, it’s never the circumstances. I see that I don’t get jobs because for one reason or another I don’t  want them. And I really don’t want t a “job” but if I’m going to do a j.o.b. job, I have to sense clearly that it makes a difference, and I’m a little on the instant gratification side that way.

As much as I have said I want to have money so I can do other things, I’ve never developed the skills for managing and leveraging it, or for even  identifying with the game having any intrinsic value, so it is like, say, a game I never learned to play;  rather than learn it I always opt to continue with games I already know.

Heck I’m rambling on…and that’s another thing that I have to get through. I mean, the rambling is on account of never having thought about them or focused on them seriously. So I’ll ramble away, I guess, but it’s for the sake of ultimately getting clearer. When I read over this eventually and can pick out what’s important, that’s where growth will happen.


Leave a Reply